Friends or Foes?

In life, there’s always people who doesn’t like you. There are times when we take care of them, the people we proudly call them our staffs, our friends, our colleagues, our bosses. There’s a time when they turns against us. Staffs who make fun of us, they have no idea what if we were not showing them our mercy in working life. Now, when they are not under us anymore, they mock us, they put us as if we are the only one to blame for.

They just don’t know how stupid they are until you show them who they really are, when we don’t act as a shield between them and the top managements. Some of them are practically just idiot. They don’t have “thanks” in their heart for what have we done for them, they practically don’t remember when we at first recruiting them among hundreds of people.

Not so far also with people who we call friends, colleagues. I treat them almost everyday back then, and now they just don’t remember and even try to call me. Only one of them is still contacting me sometimes. He is my best friend, colleague and once staff after all, I don’t think in the future I will find anyone better than him. His character is outstanding, he works with me late until morning, he offers much help, he asks after he bloodily working on his assignment and still can’t solve it, he become a smoker after working with me for a bit (anyway, that was my satisfaction, he follow his boss’s lifestyle), he loves women and loves to drink (once again follow his boss’s lifestyle).

I manage to save my friend’s asses in front of my bosses, when they were in trouble. Those moments I did for people I called friends, are gone in the past. People tend not to remember the past and move forward. It’s good at some level, but when they forget good person who helped them in the past, it’s kind of showing who they are in the future. They might or might not succeed in the future, it has nothing to do with they forgetting us. It’s a reminder for us to choose to hang out with people who purely supports us and not gonna forget about us, people who understand the concept of return the favor. {click to tweet}

I conduct some experiment back then just to know who my friends really are. So I call each of them and asking them to help me financially since I’m in deep misery. They have all their excuses :

  1. Not Answering my call or my messages.
  2. “Sorry, I just bought an apartment, so I don’t have anything left to lend you”
  3. “Who are you? Is this scam?”
  4. “Sorry, I don’t have the money”

Their sorry bullshit saying keep ringing in my ears, so this is who they actually are! This is when my concept on only loves who loves you back arise. Those kind of responses only leave me a question, “Why don’t you just say, how much do you need? I will help if I have!”

They just break the whole relationship with those sorry words. Sorry is never enough! People won’t help you when you are in trouble, because they are selfish. Sooner or later in their life, they will see all people leaving them for good. God damn selfish bastard!

But life never stop when friends don’t help you. They will not become your foes just because of that, but you will not contact them, you will not care for them anymore, you don’t even give a damn when they die or in deep shit.

We have to keep going on living this life, with a concept of success is our great revenge!

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I would appreciate your opinion about this matter, so that we can learn from each other better to live this life abundantly!

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My Thank You Page!

Today is a thank you page of my life. If I’m not experience everything that I experience, I’m not gonna be here as who I am today. I am grateful for all the bad experiences, good experiences, thrilling, scary, and awesome ones.

thank you

Thanks for all the people in my life, who stays by my side when I’m totally on wrong side of a life, and also for people who stay away from me, when I’m in total mess, you will never know what you missed and we will not remember each other, just understand that we will never have the same respect as we should have, if you just accept my simple Hi to you few years back.

Thank you for my parents back there not knowing how life has turn up for their son, but they still believe their son. They hold their mouth from talking bad things and only call for a small question “Are you healthy?” And whenever I say bad things, they listen and throw back at me fascinating supports. “Mom, I don’t go to church anymore?” Mom : “Alright!, Just keep being healthy!”

I’m the one who introduce God to her, I’m the who denied my faith, and she accept it all. No one has great love for lousy sons and daughter like us than our parents.

In the end, I’m just gonna quote Matthew McConaughey, whatever we look up to, whatever we look forward to, and whoever we chasing, to that I’ll say “Alright! Alright! Alright!”

Featured Image : vanityfair.com

Life Is Not Linear or Even a Math To Solve!

Why people suicide? Because for them life is linear and 1 plus 1 equals 2. Who said that? Either you are god damn smart or god damn dumb! There’s always something wrong with the concept of Karma, if you do bad then you will ended up bad.  It’s just stupid, because like a game, life always have a cheater on it.

People can cheat dead! They can cheat bad luck! As strong as the concept of Karma itself, life cheating is also even an ancient concept that lies side by side with Karma. The mummification, black magic, white magic, the power of money, the power of lies and etc. All of them are the vehicles for cheating Karma. How many people escape from Karma? Look at the stars, if you can count it, you know the numbers!

Karma is always looking at the result of your action. If you view life like that, it’s one of many ways to die sooner! Life is learning and evolve, and you don’t have to solve its problem, because you can let it go and walk away then look another way to see something worth living for. It doesn’t ended up with arithmetic!

When a storm crushes your family’s place, do you go right away to them or wait until the storm calm down? There are something you don’t have to do even if it’s concerning your most precious ones. And if they die, did you feel guilty because you “can not save them”? Why do you come to the logic of being the guilty one? Ask yourself! What are you going to do with the storm? Are you able to stop it for crushing your family?

Are you somewhat God? That’s why I said my point if you think linear, then you will die in agony! There are a lot of ways to live this life! Look at those kids! Dying without parents! Abandoned by society! What do you think they think about themselves? They don’t think!! They live their life! They will take any garbage they can eat for the day! They try to survive every single day.

Japanese people going for a suicide because of enormous amount of works? Couples suicide because of love? People getting bullied and end up their life? I don’t intend to offend all of them making their decisions ending up their life, but seriously is it worth it? Why do people think if A failed then I must B died? You still have a lot of alphabet to work for!!! Why now?

Why not after you end up playing with those letters then you decide if this is the time to end your life? Why die early? What’s the rush? Don’t worry whoever in the end of your life, they will be still there waiting. No need to rush! Don’t think about Karma, bad luck, or any superstitious things! It’s not worth a penny!

Think, how you can cheat life! Here I will give you a thought of it!

I would appreciate your opinion about this matter, so that we can learn from each other better to live this life abundantly!

Photo credit: paojus via VisualHunt.com / CC BY-NC-ND

We Got the Brain, the Intention, but We Lack Determination!

We all wants to be happy, even if it’s only a slightest piece. In a life of every man, we were born, enjoyed playful children’s period, went to schools, universities. We fall in love, we got married. We got ourselves an image of both of us, we watch him grow. We fight with each others, we argue, and we get old then we stop fighting, we take care of each other more.

It’s a path of life, thinking it over, it’s great path of life. We die when we old, no drama we bring later in graves. It’s good life thinking of it. But fact, it’s just something that currently we experience. If I know, if we know, where our life taking us, what path lies ahead of us, we might just want to die now, or can’t wait to experience the future.

Chris Gardner is a caring father who love his son and his wife but things are tough. As a sales person he choose wrong product to sell. It was unnecessary luxury and expensive. He went for work after taking his kid to some sort of children’s daycare, while his wife works a double shift. If he only able to sell 2 scanners per month, it will be enough for rent and stuffs. The problem is he didn’t sold any of it for a while.

One day, he bump into a great looking guy with great looking car, and he asked “what do you do? and how you do it?” He said, “stockbroker! and it’s easy if you good with numbers and with people” Then Chris talked to himself,”they look so happy, and why (y in the happyness) can’t I look so happy?

Then in the night he talked to her wife, I will roll for broker trainee program because I’m good with numbers when I’m in schools. His wife replied sarcastically,”oh a broker? why not an astronout?” People will never believe what you are capable of, rather than convince them, make a determination on what you believe. {click to tweet}

The next days, he rolled in for a broker trainee program. The movie show us how he tried to persuade people to take him in. The day before he engaged for an interview, he was being jailed for ticket failure payment. Then, in the interview day, he showed up with his “casual” dress, and miraculously he made it.

He spent 6 months without payment in the trainee program, and have to change place to sleep between these months,  still selling scanners. He has to go through the hard works calling people, persuade them to talk about the products the company has, and that’s not enough time to do, until one day, he just approach the top guy in a company and tried to persuade him.

Zero result, he never get the top person, but he has good networking with other people, and begin to talk to them. Anyway, I know some insurance people is never taking good care of people, they persuade so that they can get the bonus, the commission, it’s a marketing life, no one being blame of. At some points, we need to market ourselves. It’s never easy, and it will take months maybe years for people realize who we are and why they can trusts us.

That Chris Gardner’s DETERMINATION is paid-off, when the “judgement day” came, finally he got a job he wants, and he is very good at it and he has passion at it. This is the part where we call it HAPPINESS.

All of us has the BRAIN, we KNOW what we WANT to do, but in the end what makes difference is HOW FAR we WANT TO GO? How Determined are we? This book gives you a start to embrace your destiny!

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I would appreciate your opinion about this matter, so that we can learn from each other better to live this life abundantly!

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Silence

I love nights. I love the silence it brings. I wish I never see a daylight, because it’s when all the crazy thoughts, the stress, the urge, the rush of the day started. Being pushed from all over directions to make you stay in your path like a cow.

Nights, on the other side, is quiet. It’s a redemption on things going on in the daylight. You keep thinking “Did what I do is right?” “Did what I do is not an incoming disaster?”. What you have done is done, you can’t change the records, but you don’t have to be pushed to walk in a specific path now. Now, you choose where are you going to go from here.

My father said, “Even if you follow the rules while driving, the others might not”. This world is consist of stupid people who thinks they’re not, even bad people pretend to be good just to get what they want.

People just not seeing others as who they are, they see others as what can I do to her/him to my advantage, to my well-being. No one has the full sincerity, people always has motives. {click to tweet}

So this is my 3,840 days since the last encounter with death. Am I not grateful? Yes, but to who? Nobody is around at that time, I am alone. To God?

I hate to speak this part, but let’s see … God is God, he doesn’t speak, tell, said something, try to make you understand, giving you signs, angry at you, care for you … God is God, a silent God. Stupid people always said, “breath”. Yups, the only thing that they can say about God is you breath right now.

Well, he attempted to take it 3000 days ago, and he can do it as he want now, I would not care, just because he is a GOD. What do you do? What can you do? Try reasoning with God? That was the most stupid act I have ever know. YOU CAN’T REASON WITH SOMETHING YOU DON’T KNOW!

I never understand these martyrs, jihads, who can die for God? Well, I will not die for anything, anyone. What did this “GODS” do to you, you even want to die for him/her/it/aliens? It just doesn’t make sense.

You can’t go back in time to change what you did and what you didn’t want to do. On June 6,1944, over than 5,300 ships and 11,000 planes crossed the land on the beaches of Normandy to turn the tide of the war. That’s what you can do.

Turning the tide of your life. A single event. You only need a single event to turn you life into the path that you want, but that doesn’t happen in normal life or in the loop of unfortunate events.

That will happen miraculously, and if you are the GOD, you can make it happen now, otherwise keep silent and wait! But some people believe that miracle is something that can be done by yourself. See what this woman going to say about it!

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Why People Act Negatively?! Are we at the end of the World?

It has been a theme in human’s mind for decades. If good things happen in people’s life, we will act positively toward our life and other’s life. But … if bad things happen, if things just not at their places, we got angry, and some will go havoc. If worst things keep coming back to you in small scale or in big scale, can I wondering if we are at the end of the World?

city light
Photo Credit : csanjaya.com

You just don’t know when worst thing come. In the night, outside of your window, you will see a beautiful city’s light with a full moon.

No crowd voices, just enjoy the silence, thinking, doing reflections, meditating or any other things we can do to enjoy a night.

Hoping that tomorrow will be better than today and the pasts.

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Photo Credit : csanjaya.com

What if? … just what if, bad things happen? Like Hurricane Irma or recently, Shooting in Last Vegas. You will forget the beauty of it in a blink of eye.

We will feel the shock even we are not in the place where it happened. Feeling dumbfounded as Paddock’s brother quote.

It’s really destructively amazing how a person can get an idea of killing.

Killing is not easy. You have to pass thousands compassion blocks inside your heart, and thousands consequences scenarios inside your head. {click to tweet} I am not talking about psychopath or other “sick” people, I am talking about normal people that gone through hard things and decided to kill.

Killing people triggered by many things, some of them I know are these :

  1. Stress in a long period. “When will I get enough of this? Okay, I am sorry I did it, but just get me out of this burden! I can’t go for another day”. I was thinking about Solitary in Jail System. Being confined in a small place 23-24 hours everyday? It’s really stressful, if nothing to be killed, the inmates will kill themselves. We create this solitary system in our own life. When we decided to cut ties with family, friends, or people, we are endangering ourselves, because no man is an island, and when they become an island, they will lose their humanity’s sense.
  2. Anger. Prolonged anger will somehow getting harder to calmed down, and for a person to keep maintaining anger for so long is real bad for their health, and their “enemies”. It triggers revenge, black campaign, hate speech, even … killing.
  3. People acts negatively towards everything happened in their life. I call it’s a seed to every bad moves people could make in life.

Either people are “sick” or just normal people gone bad, we, the “normal” people, just will never know when these things hit us in our life in the future. A simple example, a prostitute killed because she said to a guy who hired her that he stinks and he pays lower than expected, only $3 lower.

Why people act negatively?! These are the 5 reasons I can come up with :

  1. They don’t have fun in life. Life is just meant to be fun, if it’s not, why do you live anyway? Get out of the stressful events, and just go out will not hurt your life.
  2. They choose to be negative person or critical person. They always have “something to say” about everything happen. They just can’t enjoy the silence.
  3. They don’t have faith that good things will ALWAYS happen. Whether you believe of God or not, bad things and good things happen in your life. The problem is just WHEN. Don’t you want to wait for good things happen? or you just gonna go negative all the way down to your grave?
  4. Comparing yourselves, your achievements to others. WHY IN THE HELL YOU DOING THAT? People don’t care about you, why you care about them by comparing yourself to them. If they cheat on everything so they can achieve everything what they are today, it’s them, not you. They deserve or not, it’s not you to decide. Your Job is You, making you better than yourself an hour ago. {click to tweet}
  5. Keep remembering the bad things that happened in their life. The last thing to remember is that “act negatively will get you nowhere”. Being nice is not as painful as being negative. What happen in the past stayed there. Don’t go to the hole anymore! It’s you today will shape the future, not the past. They only gets you to this very day of your life. It’s just as good as you being aware of your weakness, but to go strong, it is you … right now in the future.

I guess we will never know when is the end of the world, but making this world better or at least at small scale is the only thing we can do by being :

  1. Helpful to others,
  2. Active to ask for help (it’s your nature to ask for help and there’s nothing shame on that),
  3. Grateful for today in your life that you breathe the air, and;
  4. Keep your HOPE up, because as you never know when bad things happen, you also never know when good things happen.

In conclusion, the ultimate reason why people strongly act negative is because they don’t love themselves.

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I would appreciate your opinion about this matter, so that we can learn from each other better to live this life abundantly!

Featured Image : Photo via VisualHunt

When All Things Go South!

With all of these hard things going on, I just forget how I am in love with Korean Songs!

Blogs, YouTube videos, Websites, Works, at this moments … who cares, just hearing these beats, I’m feeling great. Hard situations will be there for a while and in the end all of that will pass too, no matter where I would be at later, what business and position is gonna be there for me.

Today is what matter, future is unknown. {click to tweet} I’m just gonna say Yes to all type of loves that wave to me from now on.

It’s so easy getting distracted from a plan or path you go. Listening to music is probably the only thing you need to relax your brain on a continuous battle with your situation. I have seen my friends solving problems after listening to musics, or working with your headset on and still achieving deadline with good quality results.

There is another way to keep relax while you were at the lowest point of your life and try to get back in life, a meditation. It will help you relax and get your life balance to get up again, working your way back into your dream of what life should be for you.

meditation

I would appreciate your opinion about this matter, so that we can learn from each other better to live this life abundantly!

Featured Image : Photo via Visualhunt

What if Things Don’t Work Out for You?!

No matter how hard you try, it’s just doesn’t work.

I remember keeping a dog back then in 1991. She has a cute face with soft fur, she’s just totally lovable, always running around my feet. Kissing me, okay no, that one maybe too exaggerated, licking me, this one maybe too, but hey its a dog we are talking about. How could I not fall in love with her. Don’t even bother to ask me what type of dog is she! I don’t know dogs, I just know her.

The thing is … that doesn’t work out for me very well, she died, killed in a car accident by a lousy driver. Then few years passed, I build an aquarium for fish, and all died in a week. Am I a lousy person that can’t even take care of pets? Since then, I never love animal, even make a “threat” to my girlfriend that I don’t want any animal inside the house when we get married.

Before I continue, its not about pets. It’s about “just doesn’t work”. I remember my first love! She’s … just thinking of her now, I feel terrible. She said, “God will give you someone better than me!” I was like “WTF!” but i keep my mouth shut. Am i not angry? I am angrier as hell. Did you not love me, i said? She replied, “I care about you, I love you, I even telling my friends how happy I am to have you … but, …” She continues, “I love God more than you, and last night God told me “how dare you having a date with him?”.

I was frozen!!! WTF!! Gezz, am i fucking dreaming?? Then what everybody think at this situation, I was thinking that also … she has someone else. I didn’t sign up for betrayal!!!

She’s not. She’s not having someone else, no matter how much I dont’t want to believe that. In my heart, she’s still the kindest person that i ever have a relationship with. A year passed, and I’m done with her, can’t do anything about it. BUT … I’m not done with God!

My life goes ashtray, nobody knows and won’t knows the secrets I hide deep in my heart. Because if someone know, that’s mean I’m dead already, or I love her so much that I would die for her.

Name any misbehave you have, I have done it mostly. Back way into childhood, I prank people and burn my neighbor’s kitchen. Its a small kitchen made of bamboo outside of her house, don’t worry no victim, I’m just a kid with high curiosity “what if i burn this kitchen ,what will happen” then i ran.

I have just came back few days ago from a business trip. It didn’t work out for me very well. I have done things precisely as planned but things go south.  {click to tweet} It’s happen in a blink of eye, and there gone my fortune. I am working on projects, but seems it won’t work out also. It’s just difficult to do things today, to make people believe that you are good at what you do, and you can do it on a deadline.

Well now, I think I’m back to zero. I’m so worried, even having insomnia, that I will end up exactly in a place that I don’t really want to be. Clocks are ticking, my body will become weak, can’t go on 3 day’s without sleep anymore. I don’t enjoy any physical activities. Even if I want to become healthy, these worries still haunted me everyday. People works so hard getting sick, I’m not.

In the end, someone could wondering, if they are getting cursed or what. Have you ever been in bad lucks and thinking that you might never succeed in life? Check what this man going to say!

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I would appreciate your opinion about this matter, so that we can learn from each other better to live this life abundantly!

Deep Condolences for Hurricane Irma’s Family and Victims, a reminder of Aceh’s Tsunamy!!

My first expression “Geez!!! That’s Huge Hurricane!!! Just watched CNN news and want to express my concern to the people affected in Puerto Rico and some areas in the line of the hurricane.

irma damage
Source : CNN

It did reminded me of Tsunami Aceh and “Scorpion”, a Netflix series. In Scorpion, the protagonist  genius able to “turn off” the tornado. No one, even our planet’s genius can prevent such monstrous disaster in real life.

Sometimes i look over the window of my room straight to the mountain and suddenly imagine if a colossal ocean waves comes right into my place through the mountain, then what can i do???

We have a saying in Indonesia, “badai pasti berlalu” (the tornado/hurricane/etc will pass in the end). It did, but it leaves the damage and the rebuild of cities will takes some time.

When tsunami struck Aceh in 2004, it killed 230,000 people in total 14 countries, including Aceh. Then people started to asking question is it God’s punishment to Aceh? But Aceh already declared its Sharia Islam in 2001, so what could go wrong? The people there doing good obeying their religion to God. In my perspective, shit happened.

For decades, people looks for extraterrestrial activity, aliens and the chances that there are other God’s creation beside our earth or from where they are coming from if God not the one who created them. Anyway, is there any technology coming from these aliens that could prevent such a huge disaster like the hurricane. I am way over my head of this.

No matter what we know now or what we will know later, disasters are more to come and what we can do is help people in need {click to tweet} in our own capacity, just because we are limited as who we are in the nature, a creation.

Other thing that we can do is prepare ourselves for any kind of disasters. This guy will show you how to do just that very well!

familybunker

I would appreciate your opinion about this matter, so that we can learn from each other better to live this life abundantly!

Featured Image : Photo via Visualhunt

Simple Things I Don’t Know about Women!!

It’s only my opinion when I am in a stress relationship with a woman.

They never learn and so full of themselves. They never understand what is hurt means for a man. I appreciates those men who really loves and sacrifice themselves for women but I am not that kind of guy. I go through a battle of logic with woman, but then I am the one who gets the blame of everything, just because I am a man.

The concept of “the strong has to weaken himself for the weak” does not seems logic to me. In my view, they never accept the defeat, they never accept that I was right. Then they cry and want me to change without deep understanding on why I do things they despised of. They never try to understand what I think towards things I don’t like. I don’t like something simply means I don’t like it. Don’t bring over the shits! Don’t talk about the shits! It is how I think, every woman should behave towards these kind of thing.

I think I am quite sensitive regarding the changes of feeling in someone’s life. I remember the days I know exactly when something is wrong with my female friends. I was a melancholic turns choleric. Nowadays, I can preserve my emotion well and I can literally feel sad and cry for someone I lost, but then when I focus my thought on other things, the sadness is gone. It doesn’t mean that I am cold-blooded man, I just think that I am used to suppress my heart when facing rejections and bad things in life.

Someone said I am an angry guy, the fact is I only angry because there is a reason to it. Those reasons can be about things that not supposed to be there blocking my way to get what I need to achieved. Somehow, in these angry states of mind what calm me is … Philosophy!

When I was in college I read many philosophy literature, say Karl Max, Taoism, etc., but then I guess what shapes me today is Pragmatism.

Pragmatism is the notion that meaning or worth is determined by practical consequences. I was a Christian. I tend to look everything happened in life with a view of God behind everything. Now, my view is what happened in my life right now does not matter, what matter is what will happen after i do something about it“. {click to tweet}

I never imagine living with a wife, currently not. It’s not because I don’t want to, I am still looking for “the ultimate she”.

The cause maybe as simple as there are too many divorce and betrayal out there between man and woman. So to say, me and woman has permanent differences that is hard to reconcile. But, seeing how happy a couple in their marriage day, that’s just makes me jealous. I guess, someday I will understand how to make things works in a relationship.

Relationship is hard for some people. If you ever experience that, this will help you on keeping you relationship in good place.

I would appreciate your opinion about this matter, so that we can learn from each other better to live this life abundantly!

 

Featured Image : Photo via VisualHunt.com