Sometimes a thought pops up in my head, thinking "who am I? why I blogging? who the hell care?". The problem with this thought is you do it for people to read your blog, for money? for something outside your control.
Life's struggle is real, we can't escape from it. When you are unlucky enough to get things in order, you will start to blame anything, anyone. I was a melancholic once. It's in the past, but still what you are in the past and the changes you made, those past will still haunt you for a couple of times in life.