Friends or Foes?

In life, there’s always people who doesn’t like you. There are times when we take care of them, the people we proudly call them our staffs, our friends, our colleagues, our bosses. There’s a time when they turns against us. Staffs who make fun of us, they have no idea what if we were not showing them our mercy in working life. Now, when they are not under us anymore, they mock us, they put us as if we are the only one to blame for.

They just don’t know how stupid they are until you show them who they really are, when we don’t act as a shield between them and the top managements. Some of them are practically just idiot. They don’t have “thanks” in their heart for what have we done for them, they practically don’t remember when we at first recruiting them among hundreds of people.

Not so far also with people who we call friends, colleagues. I treat them almost everyday back then, and now they just don’t remember and even try to call me. Only one of them is still contacting me sometimes. He is my best friend, colleague and once staff after all, I don’t think in the future I will find anyone better than him. His character is outstanding, he works with me late until morning, he offers much help, he asks after he bloodily working on his assignment and still can’t solve it, he become a smoker after working with me for a bit (anyway, that was my satisfaction, he follow his boss’s lifestyle), he loves women and loves to drink (once again follow his boss’s lifestyle).

I manage to save my friend’s asses in front of my bosses, when they were in trouble. Those moments I did for people I called friends, are gone in the past. People tend not to remember the past and move forward. It’s good at some level, but when they forget good person who helped them in the past, it’s kind of showing who they are in the future. They might or might not succeed in the future, it has nothing to do with they forgetting us. It’s a reminder for us to choose to hang out with people who purely supports us and not gonna forget about us, people who understand the concept of return the favor. {click to tweet}

I conduct some experiment back then just to know who my friends really are. So I call each of them and asking them to help me financially since I’m in deep misery. They have all their excuses :

  1. Not Answering my call or my messages.
  2. “Sorry, I just bought an apartment, so I don’t have anything left to lend you”
  3. “Who are you? Is this scam?”
  4. “Sorry, I don’t have the money”

Their sorry bullshit saying keep ringing in my ears, so this is who they actually are! This is when my concept on only loves who loves you back arise. Those kind of responses only leave me a question, “Why don’t you just say, how much do you need? I will help if I have!”

They just break the whole relationship with those sorry words. Sorry is never enough! People won’t help you when you are in trouble, because they are selfish. Sooner or later in their life, they will see all people leaving them for good. God damn selfish bastard!

But life never stop when friends don’t help you. They will not become your foes just because of that, but you will not contact them, you will not care for them anymore, you don’t even give a damn when they die or in deep shit.

We have to keep going on living this life, with a concept of success is our great revenge!


I would appreciate your opinion about this matter, so that we can learn from each other better to live this life abundantly!


My Thank You Page!

Today is a thank you page of my life. If I’m not experience everything that I experience, I’m not gonna be here as who I am today. I am grateful for all the bad experiences, good experiences, thrilling, scary, and awesome ones.

thank you

Thanks for all the people in my life, who stays by my side when I’m totally on wrong side of a life, and also for people who stay away from me, when I’m in total mess, you will never know what you missed and we will not remember each other, just understand that we will never have the same respect as we should have, if you just accept my simple Hi to you few years back.

Thank you for my parents back there not knowing how life has turn up for their son, but they still believe their son. They hold their mouth from talking bad things and only call for a small question “Are you healthy?” And whenever I say bad things, they listen and throw back at me fascinating supports. “Mom, I don’t go to church anymore?” Mom : “Alright!, Just keep being healthy!”

I’m the one who introduce God to her, I’m the who denied my faith, and she accept it all. No one has great love for lousy sons and daughter like us than our parents.

In the end, I’m just gonna quote Matthew McConaughey, whatever we look up to, whatever we look forward to, and whoever we chasing, to that I’ll say “Alright! Alright! Alright!”

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What if Things Don’t Work Out for You?!

No matter how hard you try, it’s just doesn’t work.

I remember keeping a dog back then in 1991. She has a cute face with soft fur, she’s just totally lovable, always running around my feet. Kissing me, okay no, that one maybe too exaggerated, licking me, this one maybe too, but hey its a dog we are talking about. How could I not fall in love with her. Don’t even bother to ask me what type of dog is she! I don’t know dogs, I just know her.

The thing is … that doesn’t work out for me very well, she died, killed in a car accident by a lousy driver. Then few years passed, I build an aquarium for fish, and all died in a week. Am I a lousy person that can’t even take care of pets? Since then, I never love animal, even make a “threat” to my girlfriend that I don’t want any animal inside the house when we get married.

Before I continue, its not about pets. It’s about “just doesn’t work”. I remember my first love! She’s … just thinking of her now, I feel terrible. She said, “God will give you someone better than me!” I was like “WTF!” but i keep my mouth shut. Am i not angry? I am angrier as hell. Did you not love me, i said? She replied, “I care about you, I love you, I even telling my friends how happy I am to have you … but, …” She continues, “I love God more than you, and last night God told me “how dare you having a date with him?”.

I was frozen!!! WTF!! Gezz, am i fucking dreaming?? Then what everybody think at this situation, I was thinking that also … she has someone else. I didn’t sign up for betrayal!!!

She’s not. She’s not having someone else, no matter how much I dont’t want to believe that. In my heart, she’s still the kindest person that i ever have a relationship with. A year passed, and I’m done with her, can’t do anything about it. BUT … I’m not done with God!

My life goes ashtray, nobody knows and won’t knows the secrets I hide deep in my heart. Because if someone know, that’s mean I’m dead already, or I love her so much that I would die for her.

Name any misbehave you have, I have done it mostly. Back way into childhood, I prank people and burn my neighbor’s kitchen. Its a small kitchen made of bamboo outside of her house, don’t worry no victim, I’m just a kid with high curiosity “what if i burn this kitchen ,what will happen” then i ran.

I have just came back few days ago from a business trip. It didn’t work out for me very well. I have done things precisely as planned but things go south.  {click to tweet} It’s happen in a blink of eye, and there gone my fortune. I am working on projects, but seems it won’t work out also. It’s just difficult to do things today, to make people believe that you are good at what you do, and you can do it on a deadline.

Well now, I think I’m back to zero. I’m so worried, even having insomnia, that I will end up exactly in a place that I don’t really want to be. Clocks are ticking, my body will become weak, can’t go on 3 day’s without sleep anymore. I don’t enjoy any physical activities. Even if I want to become healthy, these worries still haunted me everyday. People works so hard getting sick, I’m not.

In the end, someone could wondering, if they are getting cursed or what. Have you ever been in bad lucks and thinking that you might never succeed in life? Check what this man going to say!


I would appreciate your opinion about this matter, so that we can learn from each other better to live this life abundantly!